Woman Crush Wednesday: Bianca Del Rio

My woman crush Wednesday technically isn’t a man (according to North Carolina Governor Pat McCrory like I really care)

but I LOVE me some Bianca.

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from the first episode of RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 6 This queen came to win. She is one of the few (if only) winner of drag race who has never had to lip-sync for her life!

She is everything I want in a man in a dress.

She give me life plus extra.

I want to be her best friend.

I want her to dress me.

I want her to talk shit about my boyfriends.

I want to party with her at every gay club between her and Saturn.

I want to get drunk with her and take all sorts of R- rated pics and post them online.

I want to take a pic with her at the DC Pride festival this year.

Hell, If i could meet Bianca I would just laugh myself silly with glee.

but seriously, for all of her Rolodex of hate and reading people like she’s a professor at Oxford University in England, you can see the little, tiny piece of humanity in her and I absolutely love it.

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Song of the week: April 25, 2016: Prince

I will be honest. I was absolutely blown away when I learned Prince had died. This man has been my muse, my confessor, my bae, my everything musically since I was a kid. I still have a hard time believing he’s gone.

(which explains why there was no post last week)

and he died on my birthday. so I was twice blown.

however, he left a musical legacy that is incomparable. So i will spend my time with my memories of one of the best concerts I’ve ever attended.

Song of the Week: April 25, 2016: Prince

I was confused when I started getting all these text asking me if I was okay. I mean, it was my birthday so of course I was doing great. Finally someone text me and said, “I know how much you loved him..”


Finally someone called and told me Prince was dead. I was blown. Not just because he died on my birthday but because he was dead. Him? Prince, nawl, not him. Mick Jagger, well that news is about 45 years late. but still. wow. I’m still blown away. but to my great pleasure we have more than enough music to satisfy us forever.

The myth of relationships

Everyone wants to believe that their perfect ‘mate’ is out there, somewhere waiting for them. Who doesn’t want to believe that there is a perfectly compatible person somewhere among the billions of people inhabiting this planet that ‘gets’ them?

We all do.

We all want the fairy-tale. The happy ending. The walking off in the sunset with the person of our dreams.

Then we wake up.
Or we grow up, whichever comes first.

Then there are the fairy tales we grow up with
Cinderella: abused and tortured by family members
Snow white: sexually assaulted while she is sleeping
Aladdin: a runaway meets a thief and liar
Pocahontas: was a 10 years old when she first encountered John Smith. In real life, she was kidnapped and released only when she agreed to marry a settler who becomes ‘interested’ in her. She later was brought to England and subsequently died at 21 before returning to Virginia

These are some of the romantic stories we tell little girls and boys. Is this really what love is supposed to be about? Abuse, sexual assault, being with a criminal but all in the name of “Love?”

I think not.
Let’s not even get into The Brothers Grimm fairytales

but I digress

fairy tales do have their place. To teach us morality lesson to be sure but love? Maybe perhaps, not so much.

So, what do you do when you realize Santa Claus isn’t real? You still buy presents for little kids and nurture their belief and hope into things unseen. You encourage their spirit of generosity, faith and love for all mankind.

You don’t mock them or laugh at them when they are crushed that the fat man in the shopping mall isn’t the real thing.

While I still get a kick out of talking to my younger nieces and nephews about what Santa is bring them for Christmas, I WOULD never, EVER tell them Santa wasn’t real or didn’t exist. I would tell them that Santa lives inside each and every one of us and we should nurture that spirit every single day, not just December 25.

The same thing about love.

You have to nurture love inside of YOU every single day. You have to love yourself first and foremost. You cannot love some else if you don’t know how to love yourself.

You have to know when to walk away. Not everyone you meet it good for you. Not everyone who pays you attention is genuine in that attention. Not everyone who tells you they love you means it. Not everyone you meet has your best interest at heart.
You must be your own best friend, your own confident, your own strength and encouragement. In time, you will begin to surround yourself with people who love you. people who adore you. people who think the world of you and people who only want the best for you.

Love doesn’t make you feel bad. Love doesn’t accuse you of things you haven’t done. Love isn’t the Kardashians, the Real Housewives of whatever, Love and Hip Hop wherever. Love isn’t putting you down to make them look better. Love doesn’t hide you in the background. Love doesn’t divorce you because its not good for its image to the masses. Love doesn’t tell you one thing and someone else something else. That’s not love. never has been.

But that’s what they are tell you what love is.

and i’m going to tell you:

its helping someone with their homework, after they have worked 10 hours that day.

its encouraging someone to live joyously.

its helping your partner with a chronic or life-threatening disease take a shower when they are so tired they can’t do anything but cry.

its helping your partner because you don’t want to be anywhere else but with them.

its falling down laughing at a commercial on TV.

its laughing just as hard at their jokes as the first time you heard them.

its enjoying the silence between you.

Love is the everyday moments and memories.

It has never been about flashy proposals, million dollar engagement rings and weddings. It has never been about having the best looking person on your arm and a monster in your bed.

Love is so many things but its has never been what advertisers, network executives, politicians and those distort love as a weakness to be exploited and profited.

Don’t believe the myth that relationships are filled with conflict, drama and strife, they are not. Don’t believe that you have to have one foot in and the other out to ‘protect’ yourself (you don’t) and definitely don’t believe that men and women aren’t to be trusted in relationship (again not true)

Misery loves company.

Leave misery to its own devices while you create the love YOU want.

Song of the week: April 18, 2016: Sinead O’connor Nothing compares to you

I have always loved this song (both versions). It reminds me that people come into your life and sometimes they don’t stay. You however will always be in your life and you have to pick up and move forward. No matter how painful. Keep moving forward.