What love isn’t

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I watch way more Maury than I should. Not because I’m mess (i am really not); not because I’m petty(although I can be); but because it boggles my mind that people will come on TV and profess love for someone they have consistently treated like crap. I mean from the babies with side chicks, to STDS to just general fuckery.

I don’t understand.

That’s not love.
no way, no how.

I want to grab the other person and run screaming to Iylana for her to fix their lives (after a trip to the STD clinic and a mental health facility)

I really truly want them to know what love is. Because its not this tomfoolery they are experiencing at the moment.

Let’s take a moment here to understand what fuckery is:

unprotected sex with anyone you are not in an exclusive relationship with

having children with people outside of your exclusive relationship

driving by the person’s home that you suspect your partner is cheating with to let them “know” you “know” what’s going on.

any act that would be classified as a misdemeanor or felony.

any public confrontation with a side chick/dude, baby momma/daddy, etc

calling, using social media or any other means of communication to harass, threaten or direct anyone else to harass or threaten the other person.

any other foolishness you can think of directed at the other person and the not the person you are in a relationship with.

Now, does this mean go out and slash all the tires in someone’s car?

Heck NO!

I mean you pack your shit, or pack their shit and put it outside, change the locks and your phone number and roll out.

Its real simple.
yes it is that simple.

stop deluding yourself.

but the real reason you can’t/won’t leave is because:

you want to prove to the people who told you your partner want worth 2 dead flies wrong but they weren’t wrong at all and you are embarrassed and ashamed to admit it.

you have child(ren) with this person and you don’t want to be a statistic. Don’t worry about that. Just go to parenting classes, get some therapy and get your life back on track. the only think you have to do with them is co-parent. and you don’t have to have sex with them for that.

you know their crazy. you are scared of all the other crazy out there. Guess what, you might want to stop dealing with crazy period.

Love doesn’t break out car windows,
love doesn’t call you names
love doesn’t have sex with other people in your bed
love doesn’t beat you like Mike Tyson
loves doesn’t lie, cheat and steal from you
love doesn’t make you live in fear of the person who says they love you
loves doesn’t’ manipulate, mistreat and mistreat you

ego, fear, insecurity, jealousy, pain, vengeance, and just plain anti-social behavior will do those things.

You deserve better. You always have and your always will.

know better, do better.

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Jinks Jones

I am a writer and educator. My passion is making things better than they were before I got there. I want a world where frank conversations about sex and sexuality are not minimized, avoided or just outright banned. I want have a world where women and men are treated equally. A world where no girl under age of 18 has a child unless SHE is fully capable of having one (mentally, emotionally, financially and physically). I want a world where boys under the age of 18 understand that using devaluing girls and young women for their own sexual pleasure not only degrades the person they are with but also themselves. I want a world where people stop having "Oops babies". I want a world where a women isn't disemboweled because she called out her ex's name during sex. I want a world where a woman doesn't lie about physical abuse as punishment in child custody cases. I want a world where a transwoman can walk in public with her partner and he's not ridiculed by his family, friends or society at large. I want a world where a man is viewed as being just as capable as raising a child as any woman. I want young people to learn how to make healthy life-affirming decisions regarding love, sex and romantic relationships for a lifetime, not just one time. I want a world where women and men don't come to the table in a relationship with their sex organs and think its the only thing of value they have to offer. I want a world where people view each other as individuals, not as potential victims. I want a world where healthy relationships are the rule, not the exception. I want a world where being kinky is perfectly okay. I want a world where you can go to your grandmother on advice for buying a new sex toy. Oh and I want to have a good time wherever I go!